Boudoir Collage

Year after year the same question comes up.  What to buy for the man who has EVERYTHING?  There’s always another “dust collector” to be added to an already abundant array of lovely gifts, something golf related (again….snooze), wine (though it’s hard to say we wouldn’t both appreciate something rare, something exquisite), this year I want to REALLY shake it up.  No more electronic gadgetry, dinners, evenings of theatre (never convinced he like that much anyway), no desk accessories, or leather goods or things from the nationally known department store gift guides (including the one from my namesake, which I am ALWAYS fond of seeing in a small gift bag – hint, hint, honey if you’re reading).  Nope, this year it’s all about ADVENTURE (and I don’t mean Costa Rica).  This year, I venture into uncharted territory.  Something provocative, something timeless, something personal, something a little more than terrifying for me, a photographic keepsake.

1. A photographer capable of putting you at ease on the phone and taking the time to listen to what you want to achieve is probably a photographer capable of doing the same thing for you in front of the lens (again, this CAN be intimidating and someone willing to take the extra time to reassure you during this process is worth their weight in gold).
2. Determine what YOU want from the shoot, talk with your photographer about options, do they have a stylist they work with, can you bring one along, will you be on location, in a studio??
3. How much time will they dedicate to the session?  If you shoot on location a lot of people consider their commute time to get there as part of the “ticking clock”, make sure you have enough time to not feel rushed or stressed to accomplish your goal.
4. How many wardrobe changes will they allow.  Some photographers limit you to three or four (seems common in my research).  Be sure you agree on this in advance, or, at least make sure they’re flexible if you can’t commit until you’ve worked with a stylist (or at least a girlfriend with a GREAT eye for detail).
5. Get a contract outlining what you can expect:  Amount of time on the shoot, how many prints you get, the sizes, the finish options you may want, how much additional money that will cost (some photographers will do them on canvas, offer metallic glazes, specialty finishes or an array of books, calendars, etc) and what you can expect in the way of “fixing” your final selections (a little nip here, a little tuck there, minimizing some of natures laugh lines, etc).
6. Cost – this is a BIG one.  Some places, particularly studios have packages addressing  “boudoir” shoots.  Many times these are more affordable than some of the other photographers out there.  I offer only one bit of caution.  This is a special undertaking, a thoughtful, yet personal (very much so in some cases depending on how much or how little clothing you don for your shoot) gift – so, don’t skimp on the photographer and splurge on the frame (some people spend more on their frames than they do the photographer).  So many people want a Picasso but only want to pay for an “unknown” artist.  When you’re “shopping” for your photographer it is wise to have a budget in mind and know that just like ANY art form, you will plunk down more money for the more experienced and talented ones out there (just like anything else).  After all, you won’t get a Bentley at Gremlin prices (for those of you unsure as to what a Gremlin is – you are too young to worry about having laugh lines touched up).
7. Finally, after all the research, the talking, the selecting of wardrobe, studio, location, etc.  Just try to relax and enjoy your special day, it will come across in the photos and in the end, you will have something to give that no one else can…..an original piece of art, featuring YOU (another original piece of art).

Photographed by Lisa Nalven Photography (Ft Lauderdale), Styled by Encore Plus Consignment (Deerfield Beach)

Year after year the same question comes up.  What to buy for the man who has EVERYTHING?  There’s always another “dust collector” to be added to an already abundant array of lovely gifts, something golf related (again….snooze), wine (though it’s hard to say we wouldn’t both appreciate something rare, something exquisite), this year I want to REALLY shake it up.  No more electronic gadgetry, dinners, evenings of theatre (never convinced he like that much anyway), no desk accessories, or leather goods or things from the nationally known department store gift guides (including the one from my namesake, which I am ALWAYS fond of seeing in a small gift bag – hint, hint, honey if you’re reading).  Nope, this year it’s all about ADVENTURE (and I don’t mean Costa Rica).  This year, I venture into uncharted territory.  Something provocative, something timeless, something personal, something a little more than terrifying for me, a photographic keepsake.

1. A photographer capable of putting you at ease on the phone and taking the time to listen to what you want to achieve is probably a photographer capable of doing the same thing for you in front of the lens (again, this CAN be intimidating and someone willing to take the extra time to reassure you during this process is worth their weight in gold).
2. Determine what YOU want from the shoot, talk with your photographer about options, do they have a stylist they work with, can you bring one along, will you be on location, in a studio??
3. How much time will they dedicate to the session?  If you shoot on location a lot of people consider their commute time to get there as part of the “ticking clock”, make sure you have enough time to not feel rushed or stressed to accomplish your goal.
4. How many wardrobe changes will they allow.  Some photographers limit you to three or four (seems common in my research).  Be sure you agree on this in advance, or, at least make sure they’re flexible if you can’t commit until you’ve worked with a stylist (or at least a girlfriend with a GREAT eye for detail).
5. Get a contract outlining what you can expect:  Amount of time on the shoot, how many prints you get, the sizes, the finish options you may want, how much additional money that will cost (some photographers will do them on canvas, offer metallic glazes, specialty finishes or an array of books, calendars, etc) and what you can expect in the way of “fixing” your final selections (a little nip here, a little tuck there, minimizing some of natures laugh lines, etc).
6. Cost – this is a BIG one.  Some places, particularly studios have packages addressing  “boudoir” shoots.  Many times these are more affordable than some of the other photographers out there.  I offer only one bit of caution.  This is a special undertaking, a thoughtful, yet personal (very much so in some cases depending on how much or how little clothing you don for your shoot) gift – so, don’t skimp on the photographer and splurge on the frame (some people spend more on their frames than they do the photographer).  So many people want a Picasso but only want to pay for an “unknown” artist.  When you’re “shopping” for your photographer it is wise to have a budget in mind and know that just like ANY art form, you will plunk down more money for the more experienced and talented ones out there (just like anything else).  After all, you won’t get a Bentley at Gremlin prices (for those of you unsure as to what a Gremlin is – you are too young to worry about having laugh lines touched up).
7. Finally, after all the research, the talking, the selecting of wardrobe, studio, location, etc.  Just try to relax and enjoy your special day, it will come across in the photos and in the end, you will have something to give that no one else can…..an original piece of art, featuring YOU (another original piece of art).

When faced with the decision to purchase new booster seats for my children I was overwhelmed by the choices.  With so many options it became a daunting task which I endeavored to solve with exhaustive research (like all nerdy moms), “test” driving them for comfort after they’d passed the safety tests and then finally by asking my mommy friends which ones they preferred.

After spending three hours doing research on ConsumerReports.org, Consumersearch.com and countless other credible safety reporting agencies, I was armed with enough information to know what type of seat would work best with my SUV.   Next came narrowing it down to which ones would provide the highest degree of comfort and ease of use.  There was one clear choice after reviewing all the data and criteria…..The Clek olli Julius Booster Car Seat – Paul Frank Standard model.  Not only is this model lightweight (less than 5lbs), fast and easy to install (simply click it into the lower LATCH anchors in your vehicle in less than ten seconds), it’s also customizable, comes with a carrying strap for portability and has additional layers of padding to prevent children from going numb in the legs (thus their self-proclaimed motto “no numb bum”).

There is a reason this booster seat is the recipient of the 2008 Parents Test Parent Approved (PTPA) Media Award, The National Parenting Center’s 2008 Seal of Approval, iParenting Media Award Outstanding Products: Gear & Equipment, 2007 JPMA Innovation Award and many more.

After having the opportunity to road test these seats, I am 100% sold that I made the right decision.  The children love them, they look forward to sitting in their “big seats” and I love the convenience factor of being able to click in and out so quickly.  So, if you have a child whose height and weight are between 40-57 in./101-145 cm. and are 40-100 lbs./18-45 kg – I don’t think you’ll find a seat capable of providing a better experience for the entire family than the Clek Olli Booster Seat!

The nursing, working mother (a saint in her own right)

We all know it’s widely touted as being “best for baby”, after all it IS mother’s milk, and there’s nothing wrong with the delivery system (breasts), but, perhaps we should all agree on the manner in which this nurturing and nutritious motherly act is dispensed… We have been polite about it for a long time, we know you’re hormonal, we’ve been there (we don’t want to rile your ire) and yes, we are liberated and we do live in the West, we love to recycle and we buy organic but that doesn’t mean we’re ALL “granola” ALL THE TIME.

That is why I have come up with a step program for nursing mothers to use as a guideline.  By employing this “step program” you will eliminate misunderstandings, no longer a victim to hormonally induced confusion, or sleep-deprived missteps, which will cause you to be cast in a less than flattering light.  As a seasoned nursing mother, I have traveled down the path of mistakes and hope that my failures in this arena will serve as an example of what NOT to do when you are nursing.  For instance, it is entirely acceptable to produce a breast for the nursing consultant in the hospital to manipulate in order to show you and your newborn how to latch properly.  Conversely, it is entirely inappropriate to do so in mixed (this means a penis is present in the room, excepting if you work with a male doctor and he is the only one inspecting the breast) company.  For example, say whilst the “men folk” are watching a game (football, soccer, baseball, basketball, you get the idea) it would be horribly wrong to expose your swollen mammary.  Take it from me; I could have fed all of Sally Struthers children with the milk I stored while lactating.  It’s a messy issue and a beautiful one.  If navigated with care, you can avoid being the unpleasant talk of the town (after you’ve left the room of course – no one will dare say it to your face- cowards).

It’s difficult enough to remember which breast you finished with and how long your child has nursed on each side, there is no reason for further complicating matters.  By following the guidelines below you will only have to make certain you manage your water intake (gets lots of it) and avoid those nasty, gas-producing foods, which can pollute your milk supply.  So, with your sense of humor firmly intact and your big girl pants pulled up, let us dive into the steps.

The Breast is Best (but don’t make us publicly protest) Step Program

1. Never whip it out in public.  Ladies, we love you for doing it, we’re happy for you and your decision for your child/children.  However, NO ONE wants to see the actual breast or areola….EVER.  It’s just not something we’re interested in viewing.  With so many wonderful products on the market designed to create an intimate experience for you and your child, why expose it?  Cover them up – we are not saying it isn’t a beautiful thing – sometimes beauty is best preserved when shared by a small few (like you and your milk recipient)!  Seriously, cover them up, leave the room, anything, we’re not going to change our stance.
2. The Talk – none of your girlfriends really want you to share all the intimate details of the process with their men.  We know men admire how they look full and engorged with milk, we get it, really.  However, if we want details, we’ll ask, when it’s appropriate (left to our discretion).  If we don’t ask, please, don’t tell.
3. Invest in a hospital grade pump.  If you don’t want to buy one, you can rent them from most hospital supply facilities (usually located near your local hospital).  They are well worth their weight in gold.  When you have to hit the office, are crunched for time and have to “relieve” yourself of the excess milk these are as efficient and expeditious a method of extracting that nutritious supply, as you will find.  The bonus is you will see how much milk you are actually producing and can make any necessary alterations in your fluid intake/diet to increase (or in some cases decrease) as needed.
4. Research the market and purchase at least two to three cover up options, which lend themselves to your particular climate.  There are plenty out there, most of them are lovely and we would all greatly appreciate it.
5. LilyPadz, you MUST have them, they are great for preventing those unsightly leak spots that always happen when you are least prepared (like the checkout at your local Whole Foods market with all the faces you’ve known for years when your baby starts to cry and you leak straight through the disposable ones you have in your nursing bra – drat)!
6. Speaking of nursing bras – essential to have at least three great ones.  They are admittedly not the most alluring looking pieces of lingerie, but, if you aren’t Octomom and you aren’t looking to mass produce more offspring asap then who really cares about looking glamorous when you’re swollen two to three times your normal cup size?
7. Nursing moms still want to have fun – right?  Just remember IF you indulge in an adult beverage to “pump it and dump it” for at least 12 hours after your last sip of any alcohol and most Obstetricians/Pediatricians give it the thumbs up.
8. Try to have fun with it; you won’t be a “milk cow” forever!

With all that in mind, it’s probably still ok to flub here and there (a little), your sisters and mothers don’t count, nor does your own bedroom/nursery.  So, please, love yourself, love your lactating body and hang in there.  It really is a beautiful thing to do for your child and your surgeon can always fix what’s left of what used to be your gorgeous breasts…if YOU want to (by then you won’t want to whip them out for any reason when any human being is present anyway).  In closing, just because we don’t want to see your boobies, doesn’t mean we don’t love you – we do, just not ‘that way”.  Sorry we had to tell you the hard facts, but, hey, what are girlfriends for if not the cold, hard truth?

A recent survey done of all mothers 82 million moms in the U.S., reflects that nearly half of us are unhappy. Furthermore, nearly ¼ of all women are clinically depressed.  41% of new mothers were unmarried in 2008, women over 35 accounted for more pregnancies than teens (first time since the early 1990’s) and we’re educated too….Mothers in the 35 and over range had at least some college education (71% or more).  So, what’s with all the numbers?  We can thank The National Center for Health Statistics and Census Bureau for the data, but, the real question remains…Why is it that our society expects ALL WOMEN TO BE EXCELLENT AT MOTHERING?  Does everyone expect all men to be great engineers, mathematicians, philosophers, astronomers, mechanics, husbands, FATHER’S?  NO!!!!  Have we worked so hard at making it look effortless that everyone assumes we’re all good at this?

How many times have you felt that somewhere in between tidying up the house, preparing nutritious, well-balanced meals, balancing the checkbook, your social calendar and your child’s ever changing wants/needs that you just want to SCREAM!!!!!  Not out of anger (we’re honest right ladies – we did choose life after all), but, frustration borne out of not attending to things we still want to do.  Yes, your children must come first, but that doesn’t mean you died when they were born?  When’s the last time you felt entitled to pick up your guitar, your pen, your microphone, dance the night away and let loose.  Where did you go momma, how did this happen to you?  Furthermore, not every woman was chomping at the bit to have children.  If you happen to have been content with or without them, then the invariably challenging moments of motherhood can really crank up the heat.  What woman once impassioned with the thoughts of her goals and dreams – now chiding her toddler for the umpteenth time about not jumping on the sofa isn’t a little miffed that she has had to become Head Disciplinarian, life coach, personal stylist, hairdresser, secretary and all around Girl Friday?  Mother Teresa perhaps would not have had issue with this assignment, but the rest of us aren’t so sure some days.

I can tell you the Industrial Revolution changed the face of the nuclear family forever.  No longer bound by geography, people started fanning out and ditching their family of origin for new locales and “greener grass” (aha – alas, it is not always greener).  Without the built in support system of grandma, sisters, brother, aunts/uncles and in-laws, the job became exponentially more taxing (P.S., we’re not supposed to complain either).

So, how do we make it work, find Zen and enlightenment in the post-modern era of women’s liberation (liberated from what, last time I checked we’re still killing ourselves out there)?  We are “supposed” to look as put together as we did pre-baby, as sexy (be “in the mood” as frequently, despite exhaustion), and be as wrapped on Mr.’s every word as before????  Sounds like a bit of a tall order.  As a friend of mine so wisely said recently, the days are long, but the years are short and the hours between 4pm and 8 pm seem like thirty hours not four.

Perfection…unattainable, control of a situation (toddler involved or not)…an illusion….  Perhaps the best we can do until the circumstances dictate change is use the things that inspired us to possibly inspire our own children?  Play the music to them, dance with them, do your sport with your own little sport in tow and regardless of whether or not they adopt our interests as their own, when we look back maybe we’ll be glad for sharing our passions, happy that we didn’t really miss out and have made some lasting and with any luck, wonderful memories in the process.

There is a great piece of wisdom from India, which encapsulates the very essence of the foundation for child rearing throughout the ages.

“A child must be brought up to understand the word NO. He should be taught yes first of all, then, yes and no, then no and yes, in such a way that he gradually comes to realize that there is really only NO. A child’s education is learning to understand the concept of no, and thus enables him to grow. Growing up means accepting the concept of “no” -Swami Prajinanpad

So many of us struggle with the ever-blurring line between the guilt of working and providing/surviving and over-indulging and when enough is enough, for ourselves and for our children.  We all want to raise decent human beings, healthy, happy, contributing to the welfare of society and self-sufficient.  How we arrive there has as many paths and possibilities as we have names.  There is no right or wrong way; only paths and we all must choose the best way for our family and circumstances.

Since when did we become so soft on discipline?  I know it’s easier to give in than it is to stand firm and set clear boundaries but, isn’t that part of the job description?  How can we expect to raise strong and resilient, resourceful people if we don’t demonstrate those same qualities ourselves…it’s all about the leadership.  No child deserves a private club membership, a wardrobe replete with designer labels, trips to the salon, the latest video games, etc, etc.  There are times when a reward is nice to recognize an achievement, or something special is warranted for a birthday, Bar/Bat Mitzvah, First Communion, but, as a matter of course, day in day out…

We all know a friend with that bratty child, the ones that will whine incessantly when faced with an answer they don’t like.  The one with a parent who instead of sticking to their proverbial “guns”, will throw in the towel and give said whining child whatever it is they want just to stop the wailing.  How can we expect that child (as we project into the future) to cope with adversity, with not getting THEIR way when they don’t learn the basic skills as children?  Often times, these same children become incapable of dealing with adversity in school, interacting with others (now they have the internet to hide behind so they don’t even have to develop intrapersonal skills), an overbearing boss, or, worse, they expect YOU to care for them throughout their life, because…they expect it (and guess what – look no further than your mirror for the culprit).

Should we really deprive our cherished offspring of life’s often unfair and tough lessons? Is in not better for them to learn from those who love them most of all about how to handle a challenge (even if that challenge is that all their other friends get to do/go/have such and such a thing or place and they cannot).  If we take the long view, perhaps it is better not to get them that iPad, new car, trip to Prague and teach them that some things are most rewarding when they are earned.  Even though it is difficult to say no when we have the means and it doesn’t change our life in the least to give in.  In the end, maybe “no” isn’t such a bad word after all?

Given the gift giving nature of this time of the year, it’s hard to resist compiling a list of one’s own wants.  In keeping with the spirit of my real wishes (let’s face it, I can’t ask for a bigger heart or more compassion, world peace, or more tolerance – that we either have or don’t meditate on, or not), I decided what I want most of all is for Q-Med AB (the manufacturer of Restalyne & Restalyne L) to create a new product line, not just for moi, but, for all the other similarly situated women out there wishing to increase their pout without looking like they should have a hook through their lips (a la a fishing hook).

Some people just don’t have a generous enough lip line to tolerate half an ML of “the stuff” and there are many times when a slightly fuller lip line is what a girl wants.  Bear in mind that in 2009 more than 1,313,038 fillers were injected – SURELY there is a demand for a new product which can accomplish what we want, nay in some cases, NEED……a bee sting pout.  My suggestion is that Q-Med AB produce a .25ML of Restalyne/Restalyne L specifically targeted to the lip market.  Why just this week I was visiting the incomparably talented Lori Harrington, of Physicians Laser Center in Deerfield Beach, Florida and while I would have enjoyed a slightly fuller lip for the upcoming holiday fetes, .50ML of the product would have been far too much for me to pull off (imagine a size 0 woman trying to pull off a double D cup – NOT a natural look and not what I was aiming to achieve).

Therefore, I maintain and adamantly urge the decision makers at Q-Med AB to hear the voice of the people (okay, at this point, person) and explore the possibilities of marketing to women in the same boat.  Give us the .25 ML and make our fuller lip dreams come true!  It would certainly make this girl have a much, much merrier Christmas and it wouldn’t hurt to start the new year off with a pretty little pout going on either.  I’ll even go so far as to come up with some potential names for the .25ML product; “bee sting bump”, “princess pout”, “smile enhancer” or my personal favorite “luscious lips”…….come on Q-Med AB, maybe next year????

Best Consignment Store near Boca Raton

With more than 25,000 consignment retailers in this country, it’s hard to deny the trend of frequenting these often upscale stores is much more than a fad.

Consigning can be an incredibly lucrative business for the store owner, the consignor (the individual whose items are for sale) and a FANTASTIC buy for a savvy shopper.

Not all consignment stores are created equal though and it pays to “sift” through their items and have a conversation about how they verify authenticity, etc.  There are nearly as many different types of stores as their are brands on the market today, all of whom cater to a specific niche.  Some focus strictly on high end “labels” such as Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Chloe, Prada, Jimmy Choo, Bottega Veneta, Manolo Blahnik, Gucci (you get the idea) while others choose to carry lines more in keeping with the needs and budgets of a broader range of prospective customers.

About eight years ago I sold some items I no longer had use for on eBay and while I was successful in parting company with said items, I was riddled with questions along the way by my potential “buyers”, had to do the whole pack/ship thing after the sale completed and follow up to make sure they were happy with the items they purchased from me.  Great idea right, but then eBay changed, their fees did as well and it wasn’t as attractive to me as a potential “seller” as it once was.  That’s when I discovered my local consignment stores, I won’t play favorites but Encore Plus in Deerfield Beach is amongst the nicest I’ve been to (and I’ve been in Manhattan, Miami, San Francisco, Palm Beach, Boca Raton, Los Angeles-you get the gist).  It’s not that much different from a lot of other things in life, the people you deal with make it a pleasure (or not) and the merchandise they choose to sell in their venue is determined by their quality standards, their stores concept of “designer” and how competitively they price their wares.  I now deal exclusively with Encore Plus (the owners are amazing- one owned a tailoring business for years and the other worked in the fashion industry in Milan) for all the couture I have and must part with (or happen to spot there and cannot live without).   So now, instead of logging on and listing items, I simply make one trip to drop off what I no longer want/need and the checks come in the mail when an item sells.  Some shops offer fine jewelry, others carry designer jewels, some specialize in handbags, a big trend I see coming now are for children’s clothes (more on that in another article).

Many of these “gems” do not have an online presence due to the nature of the business, the turnover of merchandise is rapid and the number of employees is often too small to spend countless hours photographing and uploading.  But the treasures they hold are untold and astounding.  I urge you to shake any preconceived notions you may have about buying something someone else is looking to get rid of and realize the rewards that you ca reap by essentially shopping in some of the most exciting closets in the country and gaining access to what would be for many of us unattainable were it not for the DEEP discounts these purveyors of fine goods offer.  You would be surprised how many Palm Beach socialites not only sell, but, BUY from consignment retailers……

Men have a popular saying, “why buy the cow, when the milk’s so cheap” – I say, why pay needless markup when you can have your Jimmy Choo’s and the Manolo’s too???

A generation of degenerates?

September 28th, 2010

Tiffany S Berch

With so many children growing up with two working parents, or with a single parent working outside the home and many of those same folks living in disparate locales from their families of origin, who’s raising the kids???  Day care, babysitters, teachers, friends – anyone?  After watching the devolution of what used to be called common courtesy over the past couple of decades I am beginning to empathize with my parents and grandparents who oft lamented the demise of social graces and niceties in America.  Back in the 1970’s most of us were taught by parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles/teachers, etc. to respect our elders, say please and thank you, excuse me, sorry when applicable.  Not today, I know some of us are still striving to instill those time honored manners but with so many people running hither and yon at break neck speeds it’s not as widespread as it once was and that is just a shame.

Having taken notice of this decline I began to tally the number of offenses in a week’s time.  Three teen drivers with music too loud to think as they were texting away at stoplights and beyond, four small children (old enough to speak and say thank you) demanding distractions (Leapsters, iPad’s, etc) from their parents without a single utterance of acknowledgement or gratitude, children pushing and shoving and kicking one another on playgrounds, children throwing trash while their parents look on at public parks, more teen drivers speeding recklessly in residential districts (one of whom crashed into a neighborhood mailbox…..her third offense in as many months).

I suppose the point of this rant is, progress is unavoidable, children today will never appreciate how long a term paper used to take, the research alone was weeks of time in a library, calls to local radio stations, hours spent with one’s nose in an encyclopedia- today, it’s a few clicks away and the rest is up to their grammatical skills (yet another area in which this generation lacks skill).  Children in the 1970’s & 1980’s went outside to play (playdates didn’t exist, thankfully), came in by dark or were punished for not listening, there were consequences, there were reactions, there was community (other parents would not hesitate to reprimand a child for doing something out of line and all the parents were grateful for the help – they were on the same team).  Coddling a nation of people with unrealistic expectations doesn’t seem to be the answer.  If you get them an iTouch, they wanted an iPad, if you buy them a car, they wanted a trip round the globe.  As a parent there are times when you cannot be where you want to be (home when they arrive from school, at the big game, recital, event that you wish you could), buying “stuff” doesn’t make up for that loss and most children, even teens don’t appreciate that while you’re “in the soup”, perhaps later as they age appreciation kicks in.  Perhaps!

In the interim, there’s a saying by Calvin Coolidge which says it all:  “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.  Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.  Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.  Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.  Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”  Maybe a little push back and guidance (despite that it is MUCH harder to NOT GIVE IN) is what is called for from parents today, when the job is completed and they have learned the values that we, as parents have chosen to pass along are instilled, then, we can enjoy the fruits of our labor.  Until then, parents please parent your child today and teach them what your elders taught you a healthy dose of respect for the hardships others suffer on your behalf and an appreciation for all the good things that come with that sacrifice.

• The State of Our Unions 2005, a report issued by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. The same study said that only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents — the lowest figure in the Western world.

• As of 2003, 43.7% of custodial mothers and 56.2% of custodial fathers were either separated or divorced. And in 2002, 7.8 million Americans paid about $40 billion in child and/or spousal support (84% of the payers were male).

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